Selling the Marital Home During Divorce: What You Need to Know | Amy Slate on Divorce Happens
What do you actually do with the house when a marriage ends? It's one of the most anxiety-inducing questions that comes up in divorce, right alongside custody. And for most people, there's no obvious place to turn for a straight answer.
That's where Amy Slate comes in. Known as The Breakup Broker, Amy is a Boston-based real estate agent licensed in Massachusetts and Florida who has made it her mission to guide women through the real estate side of divorce with clarity, compassion, and a whole lot of practical support.
In this episode of Divorce Happens, host Olivia Howell sits down with Amy to talk through the entire process of selling the marital home: how to choose a realtor when you and your ex can't agree on anything, what actually happens in those first meetings, why selling without an agent almost always costs more than it saves, and the one piece of advice Amy gives everyone who is deep in the thick of it.
Transcript:
Olivia: Let's jump in. Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter. Because divorce happens... and then you start fresh.
Today I'm so excited to introduce one of our Fresh Starts experts with quite possibly the best business name ever: Amy Slate, also known as The Breakup Broker. Amy, can you tell us what you do?
Amy: Sure! I'm a real estate agent licensed in both Massachusetts and Florida. I work with all kinds of clients, but my focus is helping women who are going through divorce, separation, or breakups. I guide them through the complexities of selling a home during this major life transition.
Olivia: I love that so much. Every day I meet with people going through divorce, and two questions come up again and again: custody and what to do with the marital home. Our mission at Fresh Starts is to reduce anxiety where we can, and real estate is a huge part of that.
So Amy, what's the process? If someone owns a home with their soon-to-be ex, how do they decide to sell, choose a realtor, and actually go through with the sale?
Amy: Great question. First, take a step back and look at your situation holistically from financial, emotional, and logistical perspectives. These all impact the decision to sell. Having someone like me to talk things through can really reduce anxiety. Divorce is overwhelming, and adding a home sale on top of it is a lot. That's why it's crucial to find a real estate expert who understands divorce and can walk you through the options.
Olivia: Totally. And it's not like there's one central place to find all the answers. Everything is so case-specific, from mortgage terms to who's on the deed. Let's say a couple is divorcing and needs a realtor. Do both parties have to agree on who to hire?
Amy: It depends. If they're amicable, sure, they can agree on a realtor. If not, lawyers or even a judge might get involved to appoint someone. Ideally, one person brings a realtor into the conversation and everyone meets to make sure they're on the same page. It's important that both parties feel included and informed. This is already an emotional and complex process without the divorce layered on top.
Olivia: Which is why having someone neutral like you is so valuable. Once you're hired, what should someone expect? What are the first steps?
Amy: I typically visit the home and, if possible, meet with both spouses. If one person isn't comfortable being present, I make sure everything is well-documented and shared equally. Everyone needs to feel informed and heard.
Then we do a room-by-room walkthrough to determine what improvements could help the home sell faster and for more money. I create a categorized list: non-negotiables like patching holes or cleaning up the yard, nice-to-haves like staging, and optional items. I also bring in my network of cleaners, stagers, and handypeople so the clients aren't overwhelmed trying to do everything themselves.
Olivia: Yes, we had to repaint our whole house in neutral colors when we sold, and that support system makes such a difference. But a lot of women tell me they consider selling without a realtor to "save money." What do you say to that?
Amy: It's common. But the data shows that sellers using a realtor usually net more money, even after commissions. Realtors market better, negotiate stronger deals, and make the home look its best. And honestly, do you really want to manage open houses, contracts, negotiations, and legal details on your own? Especially while navigating a divorce?
Olivia: Exactly. It's more than just a home sale. It's tied to the legal, financial, and emotional threads of the divorce. So where do you work, and how do you work with clients?
Amy: I'm based in Boston and licensed in both Massachusetts and Florida. I mostly work in Greater Boston but travel to Florida as needed. I pride myself on being a good listener, someone who really sees the emotional undercurrents while handling the logistics.
There's actually a study that shows women going through divorce experience cognitive decline. They're overwhelmed, distracted, and mentally exhausted. I understand that, and I do everything I can to take the real estate burden off their plate.
Olivia: I'm sure you walk into a room and immediately sense the emotional dynamics.
Amy: It's a blessing and a curse! I can be in a restaurant and pick up on everyone's vibes. But that's also why I do this work. Divorce is emotional, even for those who think they're "fine." I want to help make the process easier and more manageable.
Olivia: That's exactly why we created Fresh Starts. Divorce support requires a team: realtors, attorneys, mortgage pros, estate planners. You need them all. So if someone is considering divorce but hasn't said anything yet, can they talk to a realtor confidentially?
Amy: Absolutely. As a licensed realtor, I follow a code of ethics and confidentiality. You can have a private conversation just to explore your options. And because I work in the divorce space, I also have a vetted network. I might suggest a forensic accountant if needed, for example.
Olivia: I love that. Final question: what words of wisdom do you have for someone who is in the thick of it?
Amy: Take it one step at a time. I'm a list-maker, but in my own divorce the lists just overwhelmed me. So now I tell people: start small. Build your team. You cannot and should not do it alone. Whether it's professionals or trusted friends, lean on others. That's what they're there for.
Olivia: That's our favorite advice too. Thank you Amy, for being part of the Fresh Starts community and supporting women through these major life transitions. If you want to connect with Amy, visit FreshStartsRegistry.com or her website, The Breakup Broker. All her info is linked in the show notes.
